Sunday, June 14, 2009

Chapter 10

Between Kathy and my mother I was kept very busy shopping, going out to eat and/or to the movies, etc. My father was kept busy with work during the week but on the weekends he took me anywhere he could just to get me out of the house. Carrie, who was only eleven, couldn’t drive me anywhere but at home she would do all she could to help. My hand shook too much to put on makeup so my mother, Kathy and Carrie kept me looking good. My mom said that she would rejoice when I got well enough to put out on my own earrings and get on mascara without smearing it all over my face.

About this time, Sara approached me with the idea of going back to college for one course only. This was an enormous step and I was scared to take it. I was scared I would embarrass myself; by falling, by talking and having no one understand me, or by writing so slowly that I wouldn’t be able to take notes or complete a test. I was also scared to death about meeting “normal” people my own age and being accepted because I knew that I was different. These fears caused me to feel that I could not do this alone. Therefore I asked Kathy to take a course with me so she could be my crutch.

At St. Valentine's Day University I had maintained a b average, well okay c average. I hated school, and then to top it all off I wasn’t like other people. I was shaking in my shoes.

The fall semester was starting. Kathy drove us and we signed up for a psychology class together. We had our first test and I studied (yes, Susan studied), so much that I knew the material both backwards and forward. Because I wasn’t able to write fast enough I failed the first exam, a test I should have aced. Learning this, Sara put her fist down and made me speak to the professor about my physical problems. I had previously refused to do this because others would see me try to walk and talk. The professor was most receptive to giving me the additional time needed to take the test. I passed the course with a b, (yes a b).

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